I flew home to Rhode Island yesterday to attend my cousin Neil's wedding on Sunday 9/11/11. I admire his idea of celebrating their new life on the 10 year anniversary of a major tragedy. It's hard to believe that a decade has flown by so fast... and that with time the wounds of such a tragedy can indeed heal. I have no doubt that it will be a joyous yet bittersweet celebration, and I really look forward to going and spending time with many family members who I rarely get to see.
As I was boarding the plane, I got a message from my young friend "Alex", a student at an Ivy League college and a young man who I would be proud to call my son. Alex spent a few weeks at my house last year on his summer break, shortly before he left for Oxford University on a Rhodes Scholarship. An incredibly gifted pianist who was raised in Guam, he earned a full scholarship after a strict upbringing and homeschooling by an Asian "Tiger Mother". His email informed me that his younger brother Paul had just committed suicide by hanging himself in his dorm room, on his first day of freshman year at a college in Connecticut. I cannot imagine Alex's grief, even though I lost my dad in a similar way. As I flipped through the 9/11 magazine tributes and memorials on the plane, I could not stop thinking of Alex and his brother. 10 years from now, would he remember his brother in a sentimental way? There will probably be no bittersweet celebrations of his life. I had no idea what to say to Alex, except to offer my love and friendship.
The other purpose of my trip is to bring my couson Tori to tour a few colleges in Boston and RI and help her decide which one she will attend next year. Tori herself has had some very difficult and painful losses this year - some things that a 17yo girl should never have to experience. As we followed a student guide around Boston University today, I remembered taking the same tour with my mom when I was her age. I realized with awe that is was 28 YEARS AGO. The time... where does it go? I feel like the same person in so many regards, but in reality I have lived and learned and experienced such an incredible amount of stuff since that time.. good And bad. But compared to Tori and Alex, I've had it pretty good. I think they are both survivors, and I want with all of my heart for them both to do incredible things with their lives.
And somehow, celebrating a wedding on 9/11 gives me hope... for Neil and his bride, for Tori, and even for Alex. I'm not sure exactly why. I can't explain it, and I'm not even sure why I am posting this - it just makes me feel better. Goodnight and Peace. I'm going to say a prayer for Paul now.
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